I can't believe Its been a year.

It's been a year since my mother died. This time last year...we walked away from her hospital bed- swollen from tears, in total disbelief. So sad, that she took her last breath- in complete shock. Praying that, despite taking her own life, that she was going Home, to be with the Lord- to her final destination. Wondering the repercussions of the role we played, in ending her life, spiritually and emotionally. Yet feeling good, of the strength I had during those long days- the words and prayers I said. The overwhelming shock and sadness of it all - yet happiness of being there for/with her.

I always thought I would know how I felt on that day...how I would feel now- truly each day is different.

I will never forget- how frail she looked. Her fear yet her courage, assuring me to end her misery. The loud roar she wailed when the priest said you are forgiven of your sins. The last squeeze of my hand she gave me. Her tears, when I prayed. Her nod, when I told her it was okay to go. Her smile, when I told her I forgave her for every wrong doing, most of all- for exiting this life before her time and at her own doing...the still of the world when she took that final breath...walking out of her room without a mother.

I will never forget- Her long hair, Her smile...the peace sign she always gave...her hippie style.
Her handwriting, the way she called me Pudgey, how proud she was of us. How she listened..(until she had something to say), her encouragement...Her love of animals. Our weekly talks and our her monthly packages...her love of tye dye, her spirit, and her love of the Lord. Her jokes that weren't that funny...the way she told the same story over and over, how excited she was when I would send her pictures...and chocolate, our talks, her advice.

I will never forget her, I will never forget that week or day. She taught me alot when she was alive, more during her death and even more after. This past year, has been hard for me- but I am a firm believer in this gracious road the Lord has me on...I feel so blessed, that He loves me so much.

Thank you all for being who you are in my life this past year.
I love you all.
~melissa

Its been so long....

It has been about 3 months since I have written on my blog...life has really crazy!

I just cant find the time!

Let's See...here's a couple updates that I can think of:

Bray had his surgery- and handled it all like a big boy, Chad's Grandmother Gail had her surgery- that gave us all a scare....

Chandler just became a real Scout- of course he chose a troop that is an hour away & they meet once a week. He has been going through alot the past 8 months- We started a Neuro Rehab program with him last week- its a 3 month rigorous program. Right now we are TOTALLY changing everything we are eating...so that's been fun! He is very busy with baseball, as well.

Chad and I are busy with Monavie- an antioxidant drink that I have been drinking for over a year- I went to Texas for it, that was alot of fun. We hit gold in the business last week. We are having a blast hanging out with our close friends and making money together! He is working less, due to the program commitment with Chandler. Chad's Grandma Maebelle died just before we left for Ohio for Easter-we all know she is in a better place. We have been going to an awesome Church near our gym- we love it! A couple of our friends attend so we tried it- we have gone every Sunday since!

I had a beautiful mothers day with friends at a festival, we stayed from 10 to 6 ...I think it was the best one I have ever had. I missed my mom, but it was a day that I really felt loved. And the beautiful ring my wonderful husband bought me, helped! We are still doing our couple Bible Study- we are inching along! So busy I havent had time to take many pictures!

There is so much happening and going on...I am not sure how I could catch this blog up!

But what I do know- is the last year has been tough (for us and close friends)I have learned so much...most of all, that I can't do this Life without the Lord, that he wants me to be broken - not perfect...so He can walk beside me and pick me up when I am down- He has not and never has forsaken me. He is teaching me so much! Most of all, about parenting. I have been through so many challenges in that area- He has definitely changed my mind/heart- I am so blessed!

Please pray for Chandler, we have been on a journey so far- pray that He helps him be the boy He made him to be, that his mind and heart are opened- to Him and that this program works! And for Chad and I, for hope and patience.

Love you all- Melissa

Happy 12th Anniversary!

I have not had time to keep up with posting on my blog. Though our anniversary was a week ago...I still wanted to post something!




We had a nice and very busy anniversary weekend. We had lunch with the Pahutas, dinner out alone and then time with friends...(Happy Birthday Vicki!)



I cannot believe its been 12 years. Chad is the love my life, I don't know what I would do without him. Though I may seem tough sometimes, Chad is truly my rock. Chad and I are doing a bible study with another couple, its been really nice, opening up in new and different ways together...I am excited about the lifetime we have ahead of us and so grateful for the life we have had- I am so blessed.

(though I looked pregnant, I wore a dress my good friend Amee gave me...she spoils me!)

Love you all, and I am looking forward to 12 more years!

~Melissa

Look what we did...

With the persuasion and advice from friends, we finally started RECYCLING! We had a really good time at the recycling center...Brayden had fun putting the items in the bin, while Chandler analyzed how the compactor worked....crazy what we will do to have a little fun!

We also went to the Bird store...they boys really wanted the bird feeder that Ben has...So $70.00 later- we now have 2 over our new breakfast table. Here the boys are patiently awaiting a feathered friend...

~Melissa

Night out and Happy Birthday Lindsey!

We got to have another fun night out...Dinner, Movies and then to the restaurant. We all had a really good time! It was nice to hang out with Chad and Justin too! We got home late, but I still made it up the next morning to go scrap booking with friends...now I am home and exhausted!

~Love, Melissa

Shopping Day!

Got to have a day with Friends, having lunch and shopping at consignment shops!! It was alot of fun! Now, I cant wait to go back...it was an area/town I never knew about!

My Basketball program started- only 2 more months to go!! It all went really well. When I first started it Chad was the sponsor and there were 20 kids- now there is 6 sponsors and 100 kids!My brother is one to the coaches...he seemed to really like it! And I have an awesome Head Coach this year as well. The startup kept me busy, but now I am hoping, for the next two month that it sort of runs its self! It's also a great time for me to sell some of the spiritwear items for the school. I had alot of fun!

Had dinner at friends houses this week...and I didnt take any pictures, what is wrong with me. But one thing I do know, is I am so blessed with good friends- sometimes they are truly my lifeline! For them I am truly thankful- they teach me things everyday.

Love you all, Melissa

What we have been up to!

We have been very busy lately- trying to get alot of projects completed so we can slow down. Soon Chad will be home more- for the last 8 months- he has been working, to much, so we are excited to have him home more!


Here is the Bray with some friends, after we went out to dinner...they were playing and decided to rest IN the shelves- of course my camera was dead, but my girlfriend took this great picture.....

Here is me and some of my dearest friends...we got to get together the other night. It was really nice!These are 3 women I truly admire and respect...I am almost in awe of them- truly blessed to have them in my life.

Here are some pictures of the kids:

Here are some pictures of the boys and their cousins...having a good time playing.

(a ninja turtle, batman and a froggy with a pacifier)

Also, Bray just started an art class. I was sort of dreading it, b/c the class is on our 0nly rest day of the week...But alot of Brays friends are in the class, we carpool and

he really enjoyed it...and wow, look at his art!!

(the picture is 4 snowman, Me, Chad, Chandler then Bray...we had to redo Bray several times, because he HAD to be as big as Chandler!)

Have a good week, Love you all-

~Melissa

Happy New Year!

We had a great time on New Years...almost to good of a time actually!

I cannot believe 2009 is here! I am so excited for the new year ahead....I learned so much in '08- I cannot wait to see what's in store for this year! One thing I am sure of, is how blessed we are, the Lord has been good to us- even when we thought things were bad, His Grace prevailed.

Love you all,
Melissa

Our Trip to Ohio

It was so nice to have Chad with us on this trip! The long drive went by quickly for me...with Chad driving and the boys playing with all their Christmas gifts! We got in around 7- it was so nice to be there on Christmas...we got to see everything Santa brought the kids...including a trip to Disney! My dad and brother were there as well, so that was nice...we all exchanged gifts and stayed up late as usual.

I debated about blogging this...but on Saturday we buried my mom. But I love looking back at entries-history, memories. And it's a good thing!

She was cremated and there were a couple of issues so it was delayed....also, we all wanted to be there. I thought I was prepared for it..thinking it wasn't going to be a big deal. After we left the cemetery's office to handle the money part- we headed to the plot. There were 4 or 5 cars...as we drove, I was thinking wait a minute, its suppose to be simple and quick- I am in the car- a procession, about to bury my mom-it was real. I was so glad we were all there, including her best friend. Just before we got to the plot- my moms friend gave me this angel, I had just sent my mom 2 weeks before she died...it was something I really wanted after her death that her boyfriend kept from me- so needless to say, it meant alot to be holding it during her burial. One of her friends buried her with an angel she brought...I wanted to do that, but I couldn't let go of mine...Now I think I should have?


As we said the prayers and cried...Sean said it perfectly..."rest mom, now you are at peace, exactly what you wanted" That is what she wanted. The hardest part for me to deal with right now, is that she killed herself, was brain dead and we pulled the plug- my own mom, what guilt. But rest and peace is what she wanted...and she won- in a place much better then here!

Sean, Melynda and I after the burial. We love you Mom!

Afterwards we all got to go through a new box of keepsakes of moms that Peggy brought us. Lots of letters I wrote to her as a child..more photos. Every mothers day for the past 5 years-I would send her a book with a letter inside...I got all those back. Glad we have something, to have..to go through together.

Later that day, we got to go see the girls cheer lead- that was alot of fun. After was my families Christmas Party...and much more.

...and a HUGE Congrats to my cousin Jody, who is ENGAGED!

And to my Cousin Frank Congratulations on the birth of Sadie, isnt she cute...she looks just like Frank!

Also, another Congratulations to my cousin Tess (Franks Sister) who is pregnant!

So much to be Thankful for!

My Aunt Patty had a great idea...She had pics printed of my Grandfather playing Notre Dame basketball- the year he was captain. So everyone stood in line and got his autograph...it was the coolest thing! Chad and Chandler got one.

So at the party we normally have a gift exchange....everyone brought gifts- but they were for a surprise 50th for my aunt Eileen. The Theme was that she was our angel on Earth. Honestly, she really is...


We all got her a gift, with a letter stating why she is our angel in our lives..



First Melynda spoke...we got her Jewelry to put in the jewelry box we gave her that was my mothers. She was our ANGEL...she barely left our side, knowing our history with my mom- she talked to us, gave us strength- being a nurse, she cared for her...I will never forget when they moved my mom from ICU to a regular room, knowing it was for her to die...seeing my aunt take my moms gown of to bathe her, when she was in her last breaths she explained the process to us- guiding our fears...as soon as she died- she cleaned her up, took all her masks and tubes out- so they we could look at HER, the real her- I have no idea what we all would have done without her.
(in the pic, the kids came running, they hate to see Melynda cry...)

To my dad, she helped him when he was hospitalized with his heart condition- she dropped her life, her job, everything and came to PA to care for him- He also thanked her, with tears, on the day his children buried their mom...for that, for being with us, during that tough week.

My Uncle Tom thanked her for her care during his recent heart attack...He was so close to death, thank the Lord he is still here. My aunt Eileen cared for him days after being released from his triple bi pass- calmed my aunts fears...yet again an angel.

Here is my Uncle John, and Cousins John and Katie...this day was the 3 year anniversary of my Aunt Theresas Death. She died of cancer- right after Bray was born, she was my Godmother. My aunt Eileen cared for her, John and the kids, during her long battle with the disease. She died right after Christmas, while were all there- I was so blessed to have been able to say bye, the night before....and even more, for my Aunt Eileen. I cried, we all miss Theresa, and now I know how losing your Mother, feels...

What an amazing selfless angel my aunt Eileen is, we are all so blessed to have her. I just sit in awe, of how awesome my family is. Sean, Melynda and I dont know what we would have done without Eileen or my entire family that week- and always...we love you Aunt Eileen- Happy 50th Birthday!

So much going on - you almost feel like you are on a rollercoaster...But gosh am I blessed!


Love you all, Merry Christmas~Melissa

Christmas

We had a really nice Christmas, we stayed very busy!! Chad worked Christmas Eve. So, when he was off we went to late night mass with our good friends. The kids we all so good. It was such an honor to be at the same Church at my god son was baptized in month prior and to be holding him in the same place for Christmas- I was so content. After we all went to the Pahutas, for dinner.

We had a good time...made some drinks I had never had, the dinner we had never had (it was SO good) - they got me a Pandora charm for my bracelet, something I will alway cherish. It was such a nice evening, I adore this family, love their friendship and think of the kids almost as my own..I admire them in so many ways, we are so lucky!...we didnt get home til about 1am, but what a great way to start our Christmas!

Isnt he the cutest...Chad and I just love him so much! We got him the cutest Santa outfit...This photo was just before I put it on, I couldnt resist!

Christmas morning, we got up at about 6am to start making breakfast. Grandma Gail, Grandma P and Grandpa Wood came over...we had to wake the boys up at around 8- they were so tired from the night before! The boys got alot of gifts...Brayden got lots of superhero costumes, Geotrax, starwars stuff- Chandler got Knex, motorized legos, weii outdoor challenge- together they both got guitar hero, a lego table...lots of stuff! They were both so excited!

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So, after all the exctiement - we had about 2 hours to play with our toys...then we were off to Ohio!

Merry Christmas to you all. How blessed we are today and always.

~Melissa